Winning? Is that what you think it's about?
by Ratin8tor
Summary: The previous Doctor's speech rings in her ears as she lives her life
1. Chapter 1

"You cannot win," snarled the monster, as it held the Doctor's friends in its evil clutches. The Doctor paused, her companions looking at her pleadingly, fearfully, and yet certain that she'd be able to save them. As she stood there, screwdriver in hand, something stirred deep in her mind.

_Winning? Is that what you think it's about? _

The Doctor let out a small smile, it quickly becoming clear what needed to be done. The monster was arrogant, or so it seemed. But deep down it was scared. It was a frightened child acting tough, and all it needed was some kindness. Sure enough, a few nice words later, and it let her friends go, realizing the errors of its ways.


	2. Chapter 2

"I have to say Doc, I thought you'd be better than this," Ryan said, as they both sat on beanbags. Truth be told he was still impressed that the Doctor had somehow managed to hook up his old Nintendo 64 to the TARDIS console, allowing them to project a holographic screen inside the control room. So far the race had been rather one-sided, as the Doctor kept stopping to look at things.

_I'm not trying to win. _

"Oh but the scenery is so interesting," the Doctor replied. "Winning isn't everything, you know. You don't need to be in such a rush. If we did that, well, we'd never get to see anything amazing now, would we?"

"But Doctor, you're the first to always run off," Yaz replied.

"Yes, well. That's because I'm always running towards things. It's not a race, it's an adventure."

"Yeah, whatever," said Ryan, before suddenly being hit by a blue shell fired by the Doctor.

"Take it as an important lesson," the Doctor said as she passed by Ryan. "Don't focus solely on winning. You'll miss all that's around you."


	3. Chapter 3

"Doc, are you sure this is a good idea?" Graham asked as she made her way into the ring, her coat being watched over by her other two friends.

"These people need a champion," the Doctor replied cheerfully, aware of the massive hulk of a man standing in front of her. "Someone who can take on the baddies on their behalf."

_I'm not doing this because I want to beat someone, _

"But more than that," she continued. "They need someone to look to with hope. This isn't about beating him, this is about showing the people that they can believe in themselves."

"Yes, but wrestling in the WWE?" Yaz replied. "Even if you are booked to win, it's still a hell of a risk."

"Oh I wouldn't say that," the Doctor said with a smile. "I've trained with the best. The Venusians really know how to put up a good fight."

"Just be careful," Ryan said, knowing full well the horror stories that can happen when a match went wrong. The Doctor just let out a carefree style. She should be fine. After all, it's not like she actually wanted to beat the lovely Undertaker fellow up now, was it?


	4. Chapter 4

"What gives you the right?" the Doctor said angrily to the ugly little man who thought himself better than all those around them.

"The right is mine by birth," sneered the leader. "Who are you, anyway, to come barging into here."

"I'm the Doctor," she replied triumphantly. "I stand up to your kind, and all the evil you represent."

"Spare me," sneered the man, nodding to his guards to get rid of her.

_or because I hate someone, _

Yes, that was right, just hating the despicable being wasn't helping her, it was putting her at a disadvantage. He was use to being hated, he thrived on it. It fuelled him, gave him purpose. So the best way to defeat him wasn't through hate, but instead something that those who lived for hate feared most.

"Fair enough," she said indifferently. "I can see arguing with you is a waste of time."

"What?" said the man, halting his guards. He wanted to see her dragged out protesting, but this... this wasn't as good.

"I mean I could stand here and point out everything wrong with you," the Doctor said. "But honestly I can't be bothered."

"No," the man said. "Surely you must hate me, loathe me. Surely you have something to say."

"Nah, I'm good," the Doctor said. "Exit's this way, aye? I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you're really busy."

"But-" began the man, but the Doctor was already halfway out the door. The man shrieked at her to come back so that she could have a piece of his mind, but she just ignored him. A quick check-in showed that her friends had already toppled most of his empire anyway. Let the little man stew in his own misery. She didn't need to give him the time of day.


	5. Chapter 5

It would be so easily, honestly, to just turn to that one lady and make it a problem that would quickly solve itself. Focus all of it on her. Make her the scapegoat with all this.

_or because, because I want to blame someone. _

But to just say it was all her fault, that wouldn't really solve the problem. That would just push it further down the line. It wouldn't fix the underlying issues with the company. No, she couldn't just leave it be, content that she fought one bad person and thus saved the day. She had a responsibility to stay and help, if only for a little. What the woman had done was bad, but there was more to being a good person than just blaming someone. It was something you worked at.


	6. Chapter 6

The Doctor sat in the chair, looking at the documents in front of her. Paperwork. The universe was filled with paperwork. When the very last atom poofed out of existence there'd be somewhere there to catalogue it and make sure it got filed in the right place. It was even worse when diplomacy was involved. It was never something as simple as 'lets agree not to keep fighting each other', oh no, they needed to come to a very complicated agreement that involved even more paperwork.

_It's not because it's fun _

It was the side of adventuring few ever saw, the times she made sure things were going well before she left. Her responsibility to make sure everything was all sorted. It wasn't fun, but it was necessary. It led to peace. And that was all that mattered at the end of the day.


	7. Chapter 7

The Doctor wiped the sweat off her brow as the last stone was dragged into place. Ryan slumped next to her, completely exhausted.

_and God knows it's not because it's easy. _

It had been quite the undertaking, but finally the pyramid had been built. The mechanism was turned on, the planetary shield finally activated. It had been damaged in the last fly by, leaving the planet dangerously close to being invaded. But with the pyramid protecting the generator the enemy had no chance of getting through. The people were safe to go about their day, knowing that the pyramid they had built would last for many centuries. It was back-breaking work, but well worth it.


	8. Chapter 8

The Doctor looked over the battlefield. Her companions had already made their way back to the TARDIS, tired of the sight of it. But the Doctor lingered, just for that moment longer. Just to see what was the consequence of it all. She'd tried her best, she'd certainly tried, but even then...

_It's not even because it works, because it hardly ever does. _

No one was going to remember this battle, not really. The history books would only mention it down next to some dates and some minor facts. It was just a battle, nothing more. There were tons of them. The Doctor's attempts to stop it, or to resolve it... she'd been at it long enough to know that it was usual for things to not go the way she'd want. But that doesn't mean she'd ever have to stop trying.


	9. Chapter 9

"Why are we here?" they'd all asked at one point or another, as they ran from a monster, or towards the gunfire, or through some crumbling building. "Why are we doing this?"

_I do what I do, because it's right! _


	10. Chapter 10

"Why go to such extremes?" they would ask, when they were battling through shoppers during the Black Friday madness, or climbing trees to look for a lost cat, or helping a gang of old ladies cross the space lane despite having more important things to do.

_Because it's decent! _


	11. Chapter 11

"What do we gain from this?" they tended to conclude, as they put themselves in the greatest of danger, risking life and limb for something that seemed insignificant to them. Helping people they'd never see again on planets they'd never heard of.

_And above all, it's kind. _

That's what the Doctor had told them, the thing that her predecessor said, the thing that kept her going above all else.

_It's just that. Just kind. _


	12. Chapter 12

The odds were against them, that much was clear. A ragtag group of survivors against the oncoming army? The one with enough firepower that they could crush any resistance without hesitation, without mercy? At some point it'd be better to just cut the losses, admit defeat, and scamper to safety. Could people really blame someone for doing that?

_If I run away today, good people will die. _

No, these people needed help, they needed someone by their side, and no one else was going to come and do it. Her friends agreed, they were willing to do what was needed in this moment, despite the tremendous risk.

_If I stand and fight, some of them might live_


	13. Chapter 13

"Did we make a difference?" Yaz asked after a particular gruelling adventure. It had been a close call, closer than usual, and she was honestly surprised they managed to get out of there alive. Not that she ever doubted the Doctor of course, but sometimes she had to wonder how long they could really be lucky. The Doctor didn't answer right away, trying to think of the right thing to say.

_Hey, you know, maybe there's no point in any of this at all, but it's the best I can do, so I'm going to do it. _

Truth be told they'd done relatively little. The war was unavoidable, a fixed point in time. The most they could do was save a few people, take some of them to safety. But wasn't that enough? To save one person, to save one life, that had to be worth something. Saving an entirely family, that surely had to count for something, didn't it? The Doctor certainly hoped so. Sometimes it wasn't about the reward. It was about doing what needed to be done.


	14. Chapter 14

She probably wasn't going to get out of this one. But that's okay. You can't win them all, she'd learned that at least thirteen times in her life. Sometimes you lost, but losing wasn't necessarily the end.

_And I will stand here doing it till it kills me. _

Ryan, Graham, Yaz, they were safe. They were back in the TARDIS, no doubt being taken back to Earth. She couldn't help but chuckle at how similar this all felt. She'd certainly been here before, but this time, there was no Bad Wolf to save her. No miracle to come swooping in. No, this really was her end.

_Who I am is where I stand. _

At the end of the day there were worst places. A jail cell, for example. Or a pit. Or some really ugly room. But here, on a beach, attempting to hold back an oncoming tsunami created by the bad guys. On a beautiful day, suns shining high, the green sand glistening beautifully. The tsunami was a psychic wave, threatening to overwhelm anyone in its path and drive them mad. But if she could perhaps take the brunt force of it, dampen it so that no one else had to suffer from it. It would kill her, but maybe it would help.

_Where I stand, is where I fall. _

She wondered if she'd buried. Buried, or cremated. Not that it mattered either way. There wouldn't be anything left of her to complain about. Her entire being, burned up in a flash. She hoped her last thought was a nice one, something that she could use to push against the psychic wave of hate barrelling down on her. Something that would lessen the impact on others. But there was only one thought that would really do, wasn't there? One thought that would give her the strength she needed to face down what was about to happen.

_Why not, just at the end, just be kind?_


End file.
